The head cheerleader and the captain of the football team fall in love, a match made in heaven right? More like a match made in some teenaged chick flick. The point-guard on the basketball team or the captain of women’s volleyball team are always thought of as being ideal boyfriends and girlfriends but are they really, or is this cliché getting a little old? I think this aged idea of a perfect romance needs to be rethought, someone needs to bring to attention the trials of a mixed athlete relationship and realize that it is almost unrealistic that an athlete and a non athlete can live happily ever after.
Athletics are great don’t get me wrong, especially at BYU. We’re lucky enough to have nationally ranked teams in many different sports, which means we have many very talented athletes walking around campus. But that doesn’t mean they are dateable! A lot of good things come out of being a collegiate athlete: discipline, commitment, a good work ethic, a sense of identity, etc. those are all fantastic attributes, but I think the cons out- weigh the pros in this situation. But what are the negative factors here? Well let me tell you.
First of all, do you know how much time it takes to participate in a sport? Practices can be 3 or 4 hours a day 5 days a week. That doesn’t count games or matches, which can be up to 3 times a week depending on the sport! Pile that on top of classes and homework, where does the social life come in? To develop a successful relationship with someone, you must spend enough time with him or her to really get to know them. Take the football team for example: they practice like 4 hours a day, take at least 12 credits a semester, and play games every weekend. How do you keep a relationship alive when you have to work around that schedule? I might not be Dr. Phil, but relationships are hard enough without the added stress from a time crunch.
This time crunch brings me to my next point. It takes a lot to be a college level athlete; it takes years of preparation, practice, and commitment. This means that ever year since the third grade, this specific sport has been the main focus of the athlete’s life. Now when you focus so much on the game you’re playing, do you think they had much time to focus on a career? Granted athletes are given tutors, academic advisors, and study halls to keep their grades up for eligibility requirements, that is pretty much where it stops. Athletes put their heart and soul into what they play and don’t give much thought to the future career. It would be great to bank on the fact that they could go pro in what they do, but according to a NCAA study in 2007, statistics show that out of the 21% of college athletes that plan on going pro, only 2% actually make it. Now I don’t mean to sound like a pessimist, but those odds aren’t looking too great. The odds of dating and marrying that 98% left over that have dedicated their whole lives to this sport, not giving a moment of thought to a real career, are pretty high.
So let’s say that you fall in love with one of these 98% and get hitched. You may think you’ve married some studly dude or a girl with a hot bod, but trust me, everyone gets old and fat eventually. Your newly found husband or wife has always had the identity of the “athlete” so what happens when they aren’t that anymore? They will continue to live in the glory days forever. Do you really want to be 48 years old, sitting on your porch listening to the time when your spouse made the winning goal back in 2009?
And then there comes the next issue: locker room talk. For centuries various teams have had these private “bonding times” where they can sit around and gossip about the latest girls they smooched, or the latest boys they played. No one in their right mind would want to be subject to this humiliation! And there is no stopping it, because you can’t be in with them preventing the situation. If you enjoy having all of your darkest secrets broadcasted to your peers, be my guest! But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
It may sound as if I want athletes to be single forever, which is entirely not the case. I love dating, and hope to get married and start a family. All I’m saying is that athletes dating non-athletes is hard to work out. If you do decide to try it out, don’t forget the many obstacles standing in your way. I have found that when dating someone who isn’t an athlete, they don’t quite understand all of the reasons why we do what we do. I think the world would be a better place if we stuck by the rule athletes date athletes, and non athletes stick with non athletes. That way there would never be conflict of interest, we would understand each other’s schedules, and not complain when we couldn’t spend every moment of every day with each other.
If there is still doubt in your mind that things are easier than I make them out to be, I hope to squash that idea with my last point. Hold on ladies and gentlemen, this might surprise you. No matter how hard you try, you will always be second to their team. You just won’t be able to measure up! Not because you aren’t as nice or fun, but because of the reasons I listed above. You will be second priority in time spent, you will be the one nagging them about a future career, you don’t treat them like the star that their team-mates do, and you don’t have the special type of bond that comes with being a part of a team. It is nothing personal, they just will never love you like they love their team. And when you’re on the sidelines watching your boyfriend or girlfriend chant with the team, “we’re number one, we’re number one!” after winning the big game, do you want to be thinking, “I’m number two”?
